Dear Colleagues Without Young Children at Home

Image for post
Image for post
Credit: Lashley Rhodes

Please bear with us on Monday, as things are not what we had all hoped. A week, maybe two, of PTO, FTO, vacation pay or unpaid time off was not a miracle cure that restored and rejuvenated us back to our February selves. In normal times, we could have hired a babysitter, gone out to dinner or even had a quiet night alone to help us regain humanity after the hustle and bustle of the holidays. But we were still up late on Christmas eve, making curb-side pickup orders at Target three extra times because the Halloween costume our child wanted for Christmas, the ONLY THING THEY ASKED for, still had not shipped from China on December 22. We stayed up until midnight with our eight-year-olds who were stubborn enough to watch a movie until 11, and then listened to their parents bicker as they tried to figure out how to watch the ball drop in their time zone with no way of accessing network TV. We have been cooking three meals a day + two snacks for multiple people with multiple food preferences and opinions for weeks, months… nearly a year at this point. We vacuum only to have a bowl of sushi rice fall on the floor 20 minutes later, sticky and small, so we wait until morning so as to not gunk up the fickle stick vacuum who we should probably name at this point as a contributing member of the family. We are still stepping on legos and yes the tree is still up but not for merriment but because didn’t we just put up all of these decorations and there are still seven baskets of laundry to be folded not to mention the pile of dirty clothes at the end of the hallway. We are looking for the chromebook charger under the pillows of the 70th blanket fort to be abandoned in 295 days while listening to our children virtually argue with their friends about whose world to play in on Minecraft, or telling them that they are, in fact the Imposter, but don’t call an emergency meeting DUDE, WHY DID YOU DO YOU THAT. We are begging with older kids to go outside for some vitamin D and please for the love of god go wash your hands, yes again, and OMG flush the fucking toilet when you pee.

Dear colleagues, please understand, we are not well rested or ready to tackle the projects we decided could wait until after the holidays when our brains would be clear, bright and fresh. We’re still running on fumes because the only thing that changed the last two weeks was that we were only working one full-time job instead of two and there is now a huge blank space on the wall where a calendar once hung, just another thing to do on the 200 daily tasks to-do list.

Kate lives and works in Denver with her family whom she affectionately calls the Chaos Crew. She stays up too late and craves alone time. @forkknifespoon

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store